So, I continued on taking care of, for privacy I will use the name, Saul. I was always excited to go see Saul and wondered what may come out of each visit with him. I found myself wanting to ask him so many things and unsure of whether they were appropriate or not, with his condition and all. The funny thing was that he really didn't have a condition. He was just old. He did have an accident that knocked him on his back which was how he ended up living with his 60, some odd numbered, son. His son happened to be the person who asked me to come work for him. His son, whom I will call Saul Jr., I had just met only in June. It's incredible the way things work out.
I remember when I first met Saul Jr. He was such a mild natured man. I was amazed at his nature which seemed so calm and honest, almost innocent like. Saul Jr. was a very intelligent man and so he knew a lot of things and always had an interesting story to tell. (Saul Jr. is still around but I find it easier to write in the past tense.) When I heard that he was a member of the Christian Science Church I was very intrigued and then when I heard his elderly father was coming to stay with him I immediately had this desire to meet him and converse with him. I never anticipated it happening and I did not tell Saul Jr. of my longing to meet his father. Something in me was just curious I suppose.
Anyhow, I planned little activities to do with Saul for each visit because I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to have something to look forward to and I had no idea what I was doing but I truly enjoyed doing it. Love was the only thing that kept coming up in my mind. Maybe this was why I was doing this, so that I could expand on my love. It's incredible to think about the amount of love one can feel for another human being, especially that of one you have never met and have no correlation or relationship with one way or another. And so, I thought this was a message about learning to love others, not just my family.
You are probably wondering why I am speaking of Saul in past tense. Past tense is not only easier for me to write in, it is also the case, in this case. Sadly, Saul passed away a week and a half ago. It's hard to believe its only been a week and a half. It feels like forever ago. I don't understand why it feels that way, though. I suppose I have thought so much on all of the prior events that took place before his death and with the holiday it just feels like so much has taken place. Much, indeed, has.
I truly want to write on every account but probably never could really sum up all of the events. I wanted to blog when I scheduled a nice little family visit for him. I prepared for a nice little picnic outside and for my children to come see him and sing for him. Going outside was a feat in and of itself. It took much preparation to find a way to make this happen. The terrible thing about it is that "outside" was only maybe 15-20 feet from the dining room table "inside." All of the little feats we overcame everyday have taught me so much, another topic to blog on as well, another day as well. Later I will blog more fully on this day as it was a very memorable day for the both of us as well as for my family.
Then I was going to blog on Saul's passing. Naturally, this is a very touching, and emotional time for people so my feelings were strongest then and I probably should have acted on that, but I didn't. So here I am wanting to blog on yet another subject. After Saul passed away I went in to clean the office, just two days later. There was a nice little card sitting on my desk. The card was made of recycled paper and had pieces of grass and flower petals interwoven in the material. This alone was special to me because the petals were of the same color as a flower that I had saved after my grandfather's passing. I placed the flower in my Bible and it left an imprint and even left a mold stain in my Bible. What was I thinking? I ruined a perfectly good Bible! LOL. Anyways, one of the petals on the card resembled the flower and the mold, and oddly as it sounds, instantly meant something to me. So, I opened the card and found the most beautiful letter that I have ever read in my life. Hopefully Saul Jr. won't mind me posting it. I will ask him on Monday if it is alright and if not I will remove it but I don't think he will mind. Here is what he wrote:
Nov. 16, 2012
Dear God,
Stupified by my own sorrow and horrified by the sight of my beloved father trapped in his dying body, I was powerless to do anything to bring joy to his tormented soul. Thank you for sending your angel to assist him through that most difficult trial. Mary Baker Eddy says, "Angels are God's thoughts passing to men; spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality." Angel Lorri was the living embodiment of these qualities. Her sweet presence was the confirmation of your love, and her loving encouragement impelled him through the painful birth canal of this world into the next.
With reverential gratitude,
Saul Jr.
This was the latest subject I intended to blog about because the letter meant so much to me. I began to wonder about so many things after receiving this letter. I felt as if God were trying to tell me something. One thing I realized was that angels had been appearing to me consistently lately. I received a card mentioning angels and a coworker also handed me a worry stone one day with an angel inside. She told me to squeeze it or rub it whenever I was stressed and that it worked for her. Then she said, "My sister doesn't believe in angels! Can you believe that?" I didn't know what to say. I then realized that I'm not sure whether I believe in angels or not either.
So many other things came out of this letter as well. Confirmation of the love that I have been working on that I felt I needed to give and in a way receive back, but that wasn't the focus. It was all about what I could give and what I might learn in return. Continually I was referred to as special and every time I denied that this was the case. I insisted that I was doing nothing of myself. Suddenly, just before I decided to make this post, I read something that triggered another symbol or messaged that was trying to get across. Another coworker was talking to me recently before all of this and was trying to get me to realize that I needed to have faith in myself, love and forgiveness in my heart, and to know, confidently, that I am not just a good person but good at whatever I set my mind to. Then I stumbled on the numbers 3, 33, and 333. Three just happens to be my lucky number, don't cha know? LOL. So I read the article. There were many flattering things to be said about running into this number frequently and then a little link that took me to the laws of the universe. This led to the law of Gratitude, which is another thing I've been working on. Here is what it said:
Attitudes
which activate the Law of Gratitude:
· be positive and
appreciative
· count your
blessings
· be joyful. When you glow
with happiness you are appreciating what you have
· remember the good things
about a person, and people in general
· focus on the good in every
situation
· give praise
generously
· use the words ‘thank you’
genuinely
· be loving and
kind
· recognize your own
magnificence
· celebrate life and be
happy
(http://universalspirituallaws.blogspot.com/)
I felt as though I had conquered all of these things but there was one thing that I was definitely lacking. "Recognize your own magnificence." I do believe this may be one of the messages being sent across to me. I do not like to think of myself as any better than anyone else but maybe I have forgotten that I am just as special as anyone else as well. This is definitely something for me to work on. I am not sure how to "recognize your own magnificence." I suppose it is referring to recognizing what an amazing creation we are.
Well, I guess I should close now. I have written way to much and could go on forever. So many wonderful things to write about. I think quite possibly this blog may end up just being my way of letting off steam. I always wanted to write a book. It could end up being the start. Who knows? Have a wonderful night everyone!
With true love and purity and light and many blessings,
Lorri
No comments:
Post a Comment