More experiences with Saul

Here I am pondering the events over the past month or so. I have experienced the most powerful spiritual experience of my life and can't even begin to explain it or describe it. I don't even know where to start. I know one thing, though; I should have written whenever I felt the urge. I tend not to write, however, because I know it won't be just a few short sentences. I never was good with short stories!

So, I continued on taking care of, for privacy I will use the name, Saul. I was always excited to go see Saul and wondered what may come out of each visit with him. I found myself wanting to ask him so many things and unsure of whether they were appropriate or not, with his condition and all. The funny thing was that he really didn't have a condition. He was just old. He did have an accident that knocked him on his back which was how he ended up living with his 60, some odd numbered, son. His son happened to be the person who asked me to come work for him. His son, whom I will call Saul Jr., I had just met only in June. It's incredible the way things work out.

I remember when I first met Saul Jr. He was such a mild natured man. I was amazed at his nature which seemed so calm and honest, almost innocent like. Saul Jr. was a very intelligent man and so he knew a lot of things and always had an interesting story to tell. (Saul Jr. is still around but I find it easier to write in the past tense.) When I heard that he was a member of the Christian Science Church I was very intrigued and then when I heard his elderly father was coming to stay with him I immediately had this desire to meet him and converse with him. I never anticipated it happening and I did not tell Saul Jr. of my longing to meet his father. Something in me was just curious I suppose.

Anyhow, I planned little activities to do with Saul for each visit because I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to have something to look forward  to and I had no idea what I was doing but I truly enjoyed doing it. Love was the only thing that kept coming up in my mind. Maybe this was why I was doing this, so that I could expand on my love. It's incredible to think about the amount of love one can feel for another human being, especially that of one you have never met and have no correlation or relationship with one way or another. And so, I thought this was a message about learning to love others, not just my family.

You are probably wondering why I am speaking of Saul in past tense. Past tense is not only easier for me to write in, it is also the case, in this case. Sadly, Saul passed away a week and a half ago. It's hard to believe its only been a week and a half. It feels like forever ago. I don't understand why it feels that way, though. I suppose I have thought so much on all of the prior events that took place before his death and with the holiday it just feels like so much has taken place. Much, indeed, has.

I truly want to write on every account but probably never could really sum up all of the events. I wanted to blog when I scheduled a nice little family visit for him. I prepared for a nice little picnic outside and for my children to come see him and sing for him. Going outside was a feat in and of itself. It took much preparation to find a way to make this happen. The terrible thing about it is that "outside" was only maybe 15-20 feet from the dining room table "inside." All of the little feats we overcame everyday have taught me so much, another topic to blog on as well, another day as well. Later I will blog more fully on this day as it was a very memorable day for the both of us as well as for my family.

Then I was going to blog on Saul's passing. Naturally, this is a very touching, and emotional time for people so my feelings were strongest then and I probably should have acted on that, but I didn't. So here I am wanting to blog on yet another subject. After Saul passed away I went in to clean the office, just two days later. There was a nice little card sitting on my desk. The card was made of recycled paper and had pieces of grass and flower petals interwoven in the material. This alone was special to me because the petals were of the same color as a flower that I had saved after my grandfather's passing. I placed the flower in my Bible and it left an imprint and even left a mold stain in my Bible. What was I thinking? I ruined a perfectly good Bible! LOL. Anyways, one of the petals on the card resembled the flower and the mold, and oddly as it sounds, instantly meant something to me. So, I opened the card and found the most beautiful letter that I have ever read in my life. Hopefully Saul Jr. won't mind me posting it. I will ask him on Monday if it is alright and if not I will remove it but I don't think he will mind. Here is what he wrote:

Nov. 16, 2012

Dear God,

Stupified by my own sorrow and horrified by the sight of my beloved father trapped in his dying body, I was powerless to do anything to bring joy to his tormented soul. Thank you for sending your angel to assist him through that most difficult trial. Mary Baker Eddy says, "Angels are God's thoughts passing to men; spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality." Angel Lorri was the living embodiment of these qualities. Her sweet presence was the confirmation of your love, and her loving encouragement impelled him through the painful birth canal of this world into the next.

With reverential gratitude,

Saul Jr.

This was the latest subject I intended to blog about because the letter meant so much to me. I began to wonder about so many things after receiving this letter. I felt as if God were trying to tell me  something. One thing I realized was that angels had been appearing to me consistently lately. I received a card mentioning angels and a coworker also handed me a worry stone one day with  an angel inside. She told me to squeeze it or rub it whenever I was stressed and that it worked for her. Then she said, "My sister doesn't believe in angels! Can you believe that?" I didn't know what to say. I then realized that I'm not sure whether I believe in angels or not either.

So many other things came out of this letter as well. Confirmation of the love that I have been working on that I felt I needed to give and in a way receive back, but that wasn't the focus. It was all about what I could give and what I might learn in return. Continually I was referred to as special and every time I denied that this was the case. I insisted that I was doing nothing of myself. Suddenly, just before I decided to make this post, I read something that triggered another symbol or messaged that was trying to get across. Another coworker was talking to me recently before all of this and was trying to get me to realize that I needed to have faith in myself, love and forgiveness in my heart, and to know, confidently, that I am not just a good person but good at whatever I set my mind to. Then I stumbled on the numbers 3, 33, and 333. Three just happens to be my lucky number, don't cha know? LOL. So I read the article. There were many flattering things to be said about running into this number frequently and then a little link that took me to the laws of the universe. This led to the law of Gratitude, which is another thing I've been working on. Here is what it said:

Attitudes which activate the Law of Gratitude:

·                 be positive and appreciative

·                 count your blessings

·                 be joyful.  When you glow with happiness you are appreciating what you have

·                 remember the good things about a person, and people in general

·                 focus on the good in every situation

·                 give praise generously

·                 use the words ‘thank you’ genuinely

·                 be loving and kind

·                 recognize your own magnificence

·                 celebrate life and be happy

(http://universalspirituallaws.blogspot.com/)

I felt as though I had conquered all of these things but there was one thing that I was definitely lacking. "Recognize your own magnificence." I do believe this may be one of the messages being sent across to me. I do not like to think of myself as any better than anyone else but maybe I have forgotten that I am just as special as anyone else as well. This is definitely something for me to work on. I am not sure how to "recognize your own magnificence." I suppose it is referring to recognizing what an amazing creation we are.

Well, I guess I should close now. I have written way to much and could go on forever. So many wonderful things to write about. I think quite possibly this blog may end up just being my way of letting off steam. I always wanted to write a book. It could end up being the start. Who knows? Have a wonderful night everyone!

With true love and purity and light and many blessings,

Lorri

Here is my first "official" blog.
I actually posted this on a networking site called "The Vibe Tribe," which is an excellent support group for your enlightenment process as well. Here is the link to the actual blog as well as what I posted there:

http://thevibetribe.ning.com/profiles/blogs/bursting-with-love.

Bursting with LOVE

• Posted by Lorraine Able on October 26, 2012 at 5:24
• View Blog

I have recently been doing so much work on loving others, including myself, without judgments. I have been feeling this shift within myself like I am right on the cusp of something but just not sure what it was. I have found myself watching people with interest in awe, like when you watch a child playing. I watch people and notice so much more now, all the little details that you don't really notice just in passing by. I find myself interested in all of their movements, their facial features, and emotions. I've noticed more love in my heart. And yet, I still felt like there was something yet to come.

The other day I was invited to go watch over an old man, a co-worker's father, of the age 94. I have never really been around older folks, especially of that age, and really had no idea what to expect. I thought I would be making sure he didn't fall over and that he ate his dinner.
Shortly after I arrived, introductions were made, and we were left alone, the poor man soiled himself before we made it to the restroom. I didn't know what to do! He was so embarrassed and humiliated. I was embarrassed as well, for both of us. But then, I realized he was really in a spot and he needed help. After all, I was here so I should help. And so, I began to care for him, as I would with my own children. I cleaned him up and washed out his undergarments and changed his clothes.
The evening went on with other little tasks most of which involved getting up and down and moving to a different room. After our bathroom expedition he was ready for dinner. I brought him his food but he expected to eat at the dinner table. I think that was a reasonable request, lol, and so we headed to the dining room. His eyesight was bad and I realized he needed assistance feeding himself as well. And so, I hand fed him and then we both had a spoonful of peppermint ice cream.
We shifted again to another room. Here next to a fireplace I helped him make a phone call and we went into discussion. He asked about television and what I liked to watch. I am not really into television and so I told him that I preferred reading and studying. Then he asked what I liked to study which opened me up to the esoteric. He confessed to me at that point that he was part of the Christian Science church. We spoke a little on this and then he said something that I have been working on, something that I've been trying to remember to control. He said that the problem with the world today is "FEAR." He couldn't have been more right. I always forget to conquer fear when it presents itself in front of me and so it is a constant hindrance for me.
We moved again to another room where we engaged in more discussion about trivial things and our personal history and then it was time to leave. I felt a pull when leaving, like I didn't want to leave, even though it was late and I had my own family to get home to, but, I was let out the door into the rain and that was that.

I thought about the old man on my way home and when I arrived home I cried when speaking about the events that had taken place. I couldn't understand why I cried and why I was so emotional. That night I had terrible dreams of zombies and werewolves. It was a rough night. In my attempt to interpret my dreams I came to the conclusion that my dreams had something to do with loss of control and transformation. I think that I may have picked up on his feelings of helplessness and felt a sadness at my own lack of control over his situation and position as well. But, the transformation part was what interested me. Was I transforming somehow without even knowing? I just couldn't put my finger on it and every time I spoke of the events I became emotional.
And so, today, I get my little email saying that the vibe tribe chat will begin in 30 minutes! Oh, wonderful, I have just enough time to hop on before I begin getting ready for work. I wait through introductions to see what wonderful tips, energy, and advice I can gather from Kimberley and all of you lovely vibe tribe members but the room seems quiet. I feel it is an opportunity to speak about what has been ailing me concerning this old man. And so, I sum up the events and Kimberley asks what gift the man gave me. Hmmm......I thought, what did he give me? I think he gave me something but still could not quite figure it out. So, with the vibe tribe's help, we hash over this event.
In the end I am now aware of our human condition and the purity of being human and the connection between each of us, how we all need each other. So the fear conversation was about keeping us connected possibly.

After leaving the chat I had to prepare for work. During my shower I began to sing and I sang, and I sang and I sang. My heart became so full of joy that I could almost not bear it. It was such an incredible thing! I literally felt as though my heart could burst! I was bursting with joy and LOVE!!! It was so strong that I became so excited I had to calm myself down to prevent an anxiety attack! Because it was such a new feeling my body did not know how to respond. I think I understand why the bible talks about no man ever seeing God because his heart, or body, could not endure it. The immense joy and love that is so far beyond any of us, I can not even begin to imagine. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. It was like being on cloud nine!
I just wanted to share this because I literally was bursting with joy and love in my heart and while I am still unsure of it all, as to why and what it all means or pertains to, it was such a wonderful feeling that I never want to forget and want to share with the world!

Thank you vibe tribe for helping me to help myself and for all of your encouraging, strengthening words of wisdom!

Much blessings, love, and light to all! :0)

Introductions

Hi everyone!
This is my very first blog page and shortly I will be posting my very first "official" blog. 
I have created this blog in order to share my enlightenment process with the rest of the world. 
We are all on this path in life and many of us know not why, to where, or even how to do this.
I believe we are all born spiritual beings and have forgotten or lost our touch with that side of us. 
We must re-ignite that spiritual side in order to move forward in our lives and then really begin to live our lives to the fullest potential possible. There is so much joy to be found in this process and while the ride goes up and down, and it may make you sick at times, it also has some beautiful sites and views that are breath taking and can leave you on an incredible high and a moment that you will never forget. I want to share my journey with the rest of the world and want to hear the stories of others on their spiritual journey as well. We are all one, ultimately. And each and every thing that we go through, every heartache, and every joyful moment, every action, seen and unseen, affects each and every one of us. Let us band together in our own enlightenment circle, helping one another on this journey called "Life" and let us live it to the fullest with unimaginable heights and limitless boundaries! 
Many blessings, love, and light :)