I actually posted this on a networking site called "The Vibe Tribe," which is an excellent support group for your enlightenment process as well. Here is the link to the actual blog as well as what I posted there:
http://thevibetribe.ning.com/profiles/blogs/bursting-with-love.
Bursting with LOVE
I have recently been doing so much work on loving others, including myself, without judgments. I have been feeling this shift within myself like I am right on the cusp of something but just not sure what it was. I have found myself watching people with interest in awe, like when you watch a child playing. I watch people and notice so much more now, all the little details that you don't really notice just in passing by. I find myself interested in all of their movements, their facial features, and emotions. I've noticed more love in my heart. And yet, I still felt like there was something yet to come.
The other day I was invited to go watch over an old man, a co-worker's father, of the age 94. I have never really been around older folks, especially of that age, and really had no idea what to expect. I thought I would be making sure he didn't fall over and that he ate his dinner.
Shortly after I arrived, introductions were made, and we were left alone, the poor man soiled himself before we made it to the restroom. I didn't know what to do! He was so embarrassed and humiliated. I was embarrassed as well, for both of us. But then, I realized he was really in a spot and he needed help. After all, I was here so I should help. And so, I began to care for him, as I would with my own children. I cleaned him up and washed out his undergarments and changed his clothes.
The evening went on with other little tasks most of which involved getting up and down and moving to a different room. After our bathroom expedition he was ready for dinner. I brought him his food but he expected to eat at the dinner table. I think that was a reasonable request, lol, and so we headed to the dining room. His eyesight was bad and I realized he needed assistance feeding himself as well. And so, I hand fed him and then we both had a spoonful of peppermint ice cream.
We shifted again to another room. Here next to a fireplace I helped him make a phone call and we went into discussion. He asked about television and what I liked to watch. I am not really into television and so I told him that I preferred reading and studying. Then he asked what I liked to study which opened me up to the esoteric. He confessed to me at that point that he was part of the Christian Science church. We spoke a little on this and then he said something that I have been working on, something that I've been trying to remember to control. He said that the problem with the world today is "FEAR." He couldn't have been more right. I always forget to conquer fear when it presents itself in front of me and so it is a constant hindrance for me.
We moved again to another room where we engaged in more discussion about trivial things and our personal history and then it was time to leave. I felt a pull when leaving, like I didn't want to leave, even though it was late and I had my own family to get home to, but, I was let out the door into the rain and that was that.
I thought about the old man on my way home and when I arrived home I cried when speaking about the events that had taken place. I couldn't understand why I cried and why I was so emotional. That night I had terrible dreams of zombies and werewolves. It was a rough night. In my attempt to interpret my dreams I came to the conclusion that my dreams had something to do with loss of control and transformation. I think that I may have picked up on his feelings of helplessness and felt a sadness at my own lack of control over his situation and position as well. But, the transformation part was what interested me. Was I transforming somehow without even knowing? I just couldn't put my finger on it and every time I spoke of the events I became emotional.
And so, today, I get my little email saying that the vibe tribe chat will begin in 30 minutes! Oh, wonderful, I have just enough time to hop on before I begin getting ready for work. I wait through introductions to see what wonderful tips, energy, and advice I can gather from Kimberley and all of you lovely vibe tribe members but the room seems quiet. I feel it is an opportunity to speak about what has been ailing me concerning this old man. And so, I sum up the events and Kimberley asks what gift the man gave me. Hmmm......I thought, what did he give me? I think he gave me something but still could not quite figure it out. So, with the vibe tribe's help, we hash over this event.
In the end I am now aware of our human condition and the purity of being human and the connection between each of us, how we all need each other. So the fear conversation was about keeping us connected possibly.
After leaving the chat I had to prepare for work. During my shower I began to sing and I sang, and I sang and I sang. My heart became so full of joy that I could almost not bear it. It was such an incredible thing! I literally felt as though my heart could burst! I was bursting with joy and LOVE!!! It was so strong that I became so excited I had to calm myself down to prevent an anxiety attack! Because it was such a new feeling my body did not know how to respond. I think I understand why the bible talks about no man ever seeing God because his heart, or body, could not endure it. The immense joy and love that is so far beyond any of us, I can not even begin to imagine. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. It was like being on cloud nine!
I just wanted to share this because I literally was bursting with joy and love in my heart and while I am still unsure of it all, as to why and what it all means or pertains to, it was such a wonderful feeling that I never want to forget and want to share with the world!
Thank you vibe tribe for helping me to help myself and for all of your encouraging, strengthening words of wisdom!
Much blessings, love, and light to all! :0)
The other day I was invited to go watch over an old man, a co-worker's father, of the age 94. I have never really been around older folks, especially of that age, and really had no idea what to expect. I thought I would be making sure he didn't fall over and that he ate his dinner.
Shortly after I arrived, introductions were made, and we were left alone, the poor man soiled himself before we made it to the restroom. I didn't know what to do! He was so embarrassed and humiliated. I was embarrassed as well, for both of us. But then, I realized he was really in a spot and he needed help. After all, I was here so I should help. And so, I began to care for him, as I would with my own children. I cleaned him up and washed out his undergarments and changed his clothes.
The evening went on with other little tasks most of which involved getting up and down and moving to a different room. After our bathroom expedition he was ready for dinner. I brought him his food but he expected to eat at the dinner table. I think that was a reasonable request, lol, and so we headed to the dining room. His eyesight was bad and I realized he needed assistance feeding himself as well. And so, I hand fed him and then we both had a spoonful of peppermint ice cream.
We shifted again to another room. Here next to a fireplace I helped him make a phone call and we went into discussion. He asked about television and what I liked to watch. I am not really into television and so I told him that I preferred reading and studying. Then he asked what I liked to study which opened me up to the esoteric. He confessed to me at that point that he was part of the Christian Science church. We spoke a little on this and then he said something that I have been working on, something that I've been trying to remember to control. He said that the problem with the world today is "FEAR." He couldn't have been more right. I always forget to conquer fear when it presents itself in front of me and so it is a constant hindrance for me.
We moved again to another room where we engaged in more discussion about trivial things and our personal history and then it was time to leave. I felt a pull when leaving, like I didn't want to leave, even though it was late and I had my own family to get home to, but, I was let out the door into the rain and that was that.
I thought about the old man on my way home and when I arrived home I cried when speaking about the events that had taken place. I couldn't understand why I cried and why I was so emotional. That night I had terrible dreams of zombies and werewolves. It was a rough night. In my attempt to interpret my dreams I came to the conclusion that my dreams had something to do with loss of control and transformation. I think that I may have picked up on his feelings of helplessness and felt a sadness at my own lack of control over his situation and position as well. But, the transformation part was what interested me. Was I transforming somehow without even knowing? I just couldn't put my finger on it and every time I spoke of the events I became emotional.
And so, today, I get my little email saying that the vibe tribe chat will begin in 30 minutes! Oh, wonderful, I have just enough time to hop on before I begin getting ready for work. I wait through introductions to see what wonderful tips, energy, and advice I can gather from Kimberley and all of you lovely vibe tribe members but the room seems quiet. I feel it is an opportunity to speak about what has been ailing me concerning this old man. And so, I sum up the events and Kimberley asks what gift the man gave me. Hmmm......I thought, what did he give me? I think he gave me something but still could not quite figure it out. So, with the vibe tribe's help, we hash over this event.
In the end I am now aware of our human condition and the purity of being human and the connection between each of us, how we all need each other. So the fear conversation was about keeping us connected possibly.
After leaving the chat I had to prepare for work. During my shower I began to sing and I sang, and I sang and I sang. My heart became so full of joy that I could almost not bear it. It was such an incredible thing! I literally felt as though my heart could burst! I was bursting with joy and LOVE!!! It was so strong that I became so excited I had to calm myself down to prevent an anxiety attack! Because it was such a new feeling my body did not know how to respond. I think I understand why the bible talks about no man ever seeing God because his heart, or body, could not endure it. The immense joy and love that is so far beyond any of us, I can not even begin to imagine. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. It was like being on cloud nine!
I just wanted to share this because I literally was bursting with joy and love in my heart and while I am still unsure of it all, as to why and what it all means or pertains to, it was such a wonderful feeling that I never want to forget and want to share with the world!
Thank you vibe tribe for helping me to help myself and for all of your encouraging, strengthening words of wisdom!
Much blessings, love, and light to all! :0)
